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Description
$3000 - Rare Riverside Retreat | Private 3BD/3BA Estate | 1+ Acre
HOLY CRAP - A HOUSE WITH ITS OWN RIVER! 🌊
(Yeah, you read that right)
Look, Im gonna level with you. If youre scanning rental listings looking for another cookie-cutter house, keep scrolling. Because this isnt that.
This is your I cant believe places like this still exist moment.
Picture this: Youre sipping your morning coffee (or that fancy green juice you love), listening to actual river sounds. Not some meditation app. A legit river. In your backyard. On your own acre+ of land.
And the best part? Youre only 33 minutes from Porterville Airport. Which means you can hop between your SoCal life and your private sanctuary faster than most peoples daily commute.
The specs (because apparently, those matter):
3 bedrooms (each with their own bathroom - no morning traffic jams)
Pristine well water (bye-bye, LA tap water)
Enough space to finally write that book/start that podcast/master handstands
Zero nosy property management companies (deal directly with yours truly)
Heres the deal: Im not looking for just any tenant. I want someone who gets it. Someone who:
Values peace and quiet over party central vibes
Actually responds to texts (revolutionary, I know)
Treats homes like theyre not disposable
Has their financial act together
If youre thinking I need my own consistent slice of paradise that isnt some random Airbnb, then we should talk.
The perks of commitment:
Lock in for a year (and prepay), and Ill knock 5% off your rent. Because I like people who know what they want.
Fair warning: In my 10+ years of real estate, Ive never seen another rental property like this. And Im not just saying that because its mine.
Want in? Lets chat.
$3000/month
P.S. That $3000/month? It covers everything. Utilities, landscaping, the whole shebang. Because lifes complicated enough without juggling five different bills. You write one check, then go back to listening to your river. Simple.
$3000 - Rare Riverside Retreat | Private 3BD/3BA Estate | 1+ Acre
HOLY CRAP - A HOUSE WITH ITS OWN RIVER! 🌊
(Yeah, you read that right)
Look, Im gonna level with you. If youre scanning rental listings looking for another cookie-cutter house, keep scrolling. Because this isnt that.
This is your I cant believe places like this still exist moment.
Picture this: Youre sipping your morning coffee (or that fancy green juice you love), listening to actual river sounds. Not some meditation app. A legit river. In your backyard. On your own acre+ of land.
And the best part? Youre only 33 minutes from Porterville Airport. Which means you can hop between your SoCal life and your private sanctuary faster than most peoples daily commute.
The specs (because apparently, those matter):
3 bedrooms (each with their own bathroom - no morning traffic jams)
Pristine well water (bye-bye, LA tap water)
Enough space to finally write that book/start that podcast/master handstands
Zero nosy property management companies (deal directly with yours truly)
Heres the deal: Im not looking for just any tenant. I want someone who gets it. Someone who:
Values peace and quiet over party central vibes
Actually responds to texts (revolutionary, I know)
Treats homes like theyre not disposable
Has their financial act together
If youre thinking I need my own consistent slice of paradise that isnt some random Airbnb, then we should talk.
The perks of commitment:
Lock in for a year (and prepay), and Ill knock 5% off your rent. Because I like people who know what they want.
Fair warning: In my 10+ years of real estate, Ive never seen another rental property like this. And Im not just saying that because its mine.
Want in? Lets chat.
$3000/month
P.S. That $3000/month? It covers everything. Utilities, landscaping, the whole shebang. Because lifes complicated enough without juggling five different bills. You write one check, then go back to listening to your river. Simple.
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